


Sforzando at 111 BPM

by pocketsfullofmice



Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: F/F, M/M, Mental Illness, Other, Slight fluff, backwards mentions of sex, but this time there's some fluff, flip between past and present tense for added instability, so it's depressing, surprise it's me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 01:37:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16588259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketsfullofmice/pseuds/pocketsfullofmice
Summary: Seven days before they met, Venom was introduced to Eddie, deep red hair and Aida.





	Sforzando at 111 BPM

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a little writing exercise for myself, but grew more than I expected. Unbetaed, but please don't hold that against me.

Her name was Jolene, but Maria called her Dolly. He didn't understand the reason why, and Maria never explained it to him. 

Jolene had a shock of red hair that went to her waist. Maria loved to run her hands through it, braiding it and twisting it around and around. She was an opera singer, originally from Louisville, and she had moved to San Francisco in '98. She and Maria had met at the theatre where Maria worked in the costume department, mending costumes and making hats. Maria had been tasked with making a Victorian bonnet in a navy blue, but when Jolene walked in with her fire-kissed hair rolling down her shoulders, Maria knew it had to be hunter green. 

Maria said it was love at first sight. He didn't understand that. 

*

Eddie finds work again. Venom doesn't understand the point of what he does, but it fills Eddie with a sense of satisfaction and pride, and for that, Venom's happy for him. It means they get to talk to a lot of interesting people and go to plenty of strange places, which helps build his sense of the world. He begins to learn how to tell the difference between good and people. Unfortunately, he also can't eat many of them, due to the presence of prison guards, steel bars, and Eddie hissing at him that he can't cross the streams between work and him. But he learns and he grows.

It's not all bad. It's nice to people watch. Venom sits at the top of Eddie's spine, perched between the base of his skull and his jaw. It's warm and he can feel the vibration in Eddie's voice when he speaks. It sends shivers throughout Venom's body, where he wraps around Eddie's spine and follows his nervous system down, from the top of his head to the end of his smallest toe.

Eddie has grown used to Venom's presence. Sometimes at night, Venom can feel Eddie searching for him in his dreams. His mind will creep around and look for him, reaching out to find him in the crevices and corners of his brain. Venom's kind don't sleep. They fall into a deep, meditative state, but they never sleep. When he feels Eddie begin to stir in the dead of night, haunted by those awful people he has spoken to during the day, Venom reaches back and lets himself get tangled into Eddie's tired, exhausted mind.

Eddie asks him sometimes why he does that, when it's early in the morning and he hasn't yet had his first coffee. His bashfulness doesn't yet exist. Venom just wraps around his wrist and says he's helping.

*

Venom had already been given a name and a gender by the time he reached Maria. He didn't mind. Neither held much weight for him. Humans liked to put things in categories and boxes, and they liked to be able to put a name on things. He accepted both when they were given to him. The title of Poison became Venom, and the male identity of his original host became his own when Venom was put inside another.

Once the fear had subsided and her natural curiosity took over, Maria began to question him. She asked him his name, where he was from, why he was there. He answered what he could, and explained he needed a host to survive.

'I've never been with a man before,' Maria told him under a hushed breath.

She began to laugh, hysterical and tired and unable to comprehend what was happening. 

_**I've never been with a human woman before, either. There's always time for firsts.** _

Maria laughed at that, louder and brighter. It alerted the attention of the scientists outside, the gawking onlookers with crisp, white coats and an intrigued but distant expression on their faces. Venom hated them. He liked to hear Maria laugh, though, even if it was strangled and tight as she pressed her face to her knees. Her body temperature was high and she was fighting a fever. The doctors had promised a cure.

'Yes,' she agreed. 'I suppose there is.'

Venom wished he could help her. They were an adequate fit, but she was tight and uncomfortable. He couldn't stretch out and soothe her, he couldn't access her memories without causing her anguish. As he sat deep within her, somewhere between her T1 and T2 vertebrae, he felt an image bloom in his mind. Maria and Dolly, wrapped around one another, falling asleep on a cold night.

*

They fall into a pattern. A rhythm starts to dictate their life. Before, Eddie never used to eat breakfast, but with Venom's prodding and nagging, he starts to grab something to eat when he leaves for the day. A piece of fruit, a slice of cold toast, a strange concoction he calls a protein shake with some kind of spinach or kale in it. None of it tastes particularly good, but it keeps Venom quiet and satisfied. 

Eddie takes him for walks around the city. They visit parks and the beach. They go to the open air markets and down to the piers. There's a sense of familiarity to most of the locations, given to him by memories of the others who had come before. 

Venom learns about the city and the people that live in it. He still prefers the night view, perched high above the city where the lights down below twinkle like stars. But seeing it in the light of day, where he can witness the leaves on the trees blowing in the wind, or sunflowers opening up to the sun, or the ocean crashing into the shore, is becoming just as beautiful.

On the weekend, Eddie shows him his favourite movies, his favourite documentaries, his favourite journalistic exposes. Venom alternates between watching through Eddie's eyes and perching on his shoulders to see it from his own perspective. Eddie snacks on popcorn and pork rinds, while Venom makes a mess of tater tots and chocolate milk. Eddie remembers his favourites, just as Venom is learning his. 

One afternoon, he asks to go to the opera. 

'Why?' Eddie asks, partway through editing a piece on politicians, school lunches and unsavoury meat. 

Venom just shrugs, as best he can as a form with no discernible shoulders, and busies himself by lazing in a pool of sunlight streaming through a window. Eddie watches him for several seconds, before returning to his laptop. They're connected by a thin, wavering thread, and it's just enough that Venom can feel Eddie's curiosity pique. 

Later, Venom pretends to not notice when Eddie pulls out his credit card and buys a ticket to the San Francisco Opera's upcoming performance of Aida. He smiles, burrows into himself, and sends a warm pulse of emotion in Eddie's direction.

*

Maria and Dolly had a commitment ceremony in 2003. Venom had no idea what that meant. They were surrounded by friends, though, in a celebration of love. Maria wore a long yellow dress, a colour she said was happy, while Dolly wore a short, lacy number, all in white, with ruffled sleeves down to her thumbs. Their friends and loved ones surrounded them, though there was no family. Maria's parents had died years ago, while Dolly's never approved of them. Venom understood.

There was Chinese food and sparkling wine and cheesecake. People danced, drunk on alcohol and love and shared jokes. A sparkling ring lay on Dolly's finger, while Maria's own was simple. Both were admired throughout the night and twisted about to show off how they glimmered in the lights above them. 

At one point they got up and sang. Even fifteen years later, Maria still laughed and clutched her chest, the lingering traces of nervousness causing her heart to flutter. Venom didn't know the song, but Maria told him it was a number by Elton John and Kiki Dee. Neither of those names meant anything to Venom. He could feel the joy, though, the delight as they had sung in front of their loved ones. Dolly's operatic training contrasted Maria's thin, wavering voice, though nobody seemed to notice or care.

It was a memory Maria often replayed. She'd curl around herself, a hand clutched to her chest and a finger wrapped around her finger as she whispered Dolly's name to herself, the lyrics of the song they had sung, the words they had uttered to each other. 

Venom enjoyed that memory, too. He looked through her eyes, at the smiling crowd, faces recognisable to Maria and therefore recognisable to him. He felt the flutter of her heart, even years after it had happened. It brought her comfort and security. Venom wondered if he'd ever be part of a memory like that.

*

It takes a while for Venom to begin to understand the noises that Eddie makes when he's alone. He's a social creature, longing for companionship and company. Living along doesn't suit him, even though Venom tries to helpfully point out that he's not alone: he now has a permanent live-in roommate. Eddie laughs and shrugs. He doesn't quite disagree, but Venom gets the sense it isn't quite the same. Not yet.

He sniffs. He sings. He talks to himself, and sometimes to Venom, though it often feels like an afterthought. Eddie had lived on his own for quite some time, and never quite broke the habit. Venom likes it, though. He likes Eddie telling him what he's doing, why he's doing it, why he chose one thing over another. Although he could quite easily rummage through his mind and find the answers himself, he chooses to wait and hear them from Eddie instead.

Eddie cracks his joints rather unnecessarily. He sighs and snores and groans. He whistles. Venom doesn't like that. He tells him as such, jabbing the end of a long tendril between his second and third ribs and threatens to do something to him, but doesn't elaborate what. While the noise isn't painful, it is shrill and rings through him, like metaphorical nails on a chalkboard. Eddie just smiles and says he'll think about it, right until Venom lightly (and somewhat playfully) bites him on the shoulder. 

He hums. Venom likes that noise best of all. It takes him a while to figure out where the noise is coming from. When he does, he curls up at the front of Eddie's throat and sits there, his eyes shut and face pressed to his larynx. It vibrates and makes him shiver. It lulls him and soothes him. His favourite time for it is when they're lazing back on the couch, Eddie doing research for some article or story. Venom curls up on his chest and rests his head between Eddie's collar bones and closes his eyes until they're a pair of iridescent, pearl-like shells. The soft noise makes him melt into Eddie's skin, disappearing under the layers until he's housed in tendons and sinew, until Eddie taps on his chest or clicks his fingers and croons for Venom to come back up.

'Hey, where'd you go?'

Venom smiles at him. It's toothy and too large, too long. His tongue snakes out and licks a stripe across Eddie's throat. Although Eddie had once feared his shark-like grin (as all humans were wont to do), he no longer did. He smiles back, rubs the front of Venom's face where his nose would be, and goes back to tapping away at his laptop. Soon enough, he's humming again.

*

Four years, seven months, two weeks and five days after they celebrated their love, Dolly died. 

'She got sick. The cancer ate her up from the inside.'

And that was all Maria had to say about that.

Without Dolly to inspire her, Maria found it difficult to return to work, day in and day out. She requested a transfer to the archive department of the theatre, where old costumes, props and set pieces were preserved for historical purposes. She led discussions for local college students, held bi-weekly meet ups for history aficionados, and did minor restorative work out costume pieces.

The financial crisis in '08 hit the theatre hard. Work began drying up. Without a contract for her new position, Maria's hours were cut. Five days became four, which then became three. She began providing tailoring services on the side, hemming pants and taking in blouses. Everything was below her skill level, but it filled in the gaps in her paycheck.

Static began to fill her mind. It was like a radio playing from another room. It distracted her and called to her. Dolly would sing to her from a stereo that was unplugged and torn apart. Even now it plagued her. Venom was unable to control it, his restorative capabilities limited to the body and not the mind. 

She stopped going into work. 

She stopped getting work.

At least on the street, surrounded by people, it was easier to dismiss Dolly's voice as a dull roar in the crowd.

 _ **Would you like me to provide background chatter?**_ Venom asked one afternoon, when the scientists were away and viewing someone else. 

Dolly was singing. It sounded like it was coming from under the bed. It often did. The longer Maria lay in the laboratory, the sicker she became. 

Maria shook her head. 

'No. No. She's a comfort now.'

She was. As Maria shut her eyes and rested her head beside the mattress on the floor, Venom followed her cue. Dolly was singing in another language. Italian, apparently. Venom didn't understand it. It was an opera about a captured princess and a man who had to choose between his love and his loyalty to his home. Venom didn't quite understand, but Maria's heart swelled and Venom let the phantom noise wash over them both.

*

Venom asks to learn more. Eddie shows him photos of distant countries, with lush green forests and towering mountains. They watch movies together, from live action to animated to CGI. Venom laps up episodes of Eddie's former TV show, and although Eddie purses his lips and drawls that it's awkward to watch himself, Venom knows he quietly relishes it. He needs approval, and he laps Venom's up in spades.

They go to the opera. The seats aren't superb, and Venom has to pretend to be a handkerchief in Eddie's front pocket the entire evening just so he can watch. He doesn't need to see the stage, though. He closes his eyes and listens to the singer perform Aida's arias. Her voice isn't as strong as Dolly's, nor does she quite hit the lowest notes. He recognises parts of it, from Maria's mind.

But he can picture her, the way Maria once did. Her red hair under the burning spotlights, pulled back and off her face. Dressed in gold, the way a princess should be. Her lips painted red, and later smudged from the kisses given at the close of the performance. He sighs and nestles in deeper, letting Eddie's heartbeat settle him.

'Did you enjoy that?' Eddie asks later, once they've showered and crawled into bed. 'The opera?'

_**I enjoyed being with you.** _

'Why did you want to go?'

Venom grows quiet. He emerges from Eddie's chest, rippling around until he nestles down. His head lays against his sternum, where he can feel Eddie's heartbeat. When Eddie speaks, his voice echoes through and Venom can feel it. It's not nearly as strong as when he's pressed right up against the front of his throat, but he can see Eddie's face from here.

He doesn't immediately reply. Eddie watches him and gently lifts his hand. He places a finger, callused and rough, between Venom's eyes. Rubbing it back and forth, he coaxes a small chirrup from Venom.

'Vee?'

The sound of the nickname causes Venom to open his eyes. He stretches out, his neck growing long, until he's wavering over him.

_**I wanted to share something beautiful with you.** _

Fingers curl under his chin. He sways back and forth, watching Eddie's eyes dance over him. Eddie tilts his chin up and Venom lowers his face. It's slow and awkward. Neither quite know what to do, how to make it work. Somehow, it happens. Eddie kisses him and Venom melts. 

*

Being on the street wasn't as hard as being in the lab. People spoke to Maria out there. She could walk and explore the city. The wind brought with it the taste of salt from the ocean. It was dirty, but she almost preferred that to the sterile cleanliness of the lab. 

People could also be harsh on the street, but there were kind ones, too. Those that would sit and share a sandwich with her. Those who asked her her name and gave them their own in kind. They weren't like the people in the lab, the scientists who called her _Subject_ and _Host_. 

Allen. 

My Duy. 

Abdul. 

Krizia.

Eddie. 

They all spoke to her, joked with her. They'd walk into the mini mart near her spot, and they'd walk out with coffees and warm hot dogs for her. They'd talk and laugh and ask her how her day was, with a level of sincerity that many people never gave her. It was more than what the scientists gave her, even those with the kindest eyes.

_**Did you know them well?** _

'Not as well as I would have liked.'

She knew enough. 

She knew about Allen's daughter going to college. She knew about My Duy's family back in Vietnam. She knew about Abdul's daily prayers and where to stand for Mecca. She knew about Krizia's pet pig. She knew about Eddie's stories.

She liked Eddie the best. She'd helped him with one of his stories about a homeless shelter turning away gay youths. She whispered in his ear and he bought her a coffee every Friday since. He'd often lie and say the cafe kept giving him an extra muffin and could she help him by taking it off his hands? It became a joke, and she looked forward to it each week. A muffin from the cafe from him, freshly picked flowers from the local park from her. A pair of socks from him, free newspapers from her. 

They missed their Friday catch up. She wondered if he noticed. She knew he had.

'Not all people are bad, Venom. Don't forget that. Don't let 'em taint you in here.'

_**They're hurting you.** _

'Sometimes life hurts us worse. But that's life. That's not always people. I wish you could meet 'em some time.'

Venom didn't know if he could believe her. But he listened to her and accepted it.

*

Eddie sings in the morning. Venom can still feel his lips on his skin, his teeth, his tongue. The way he held him and dragged his hands across his inky body. It's left him shivering all day, quiet and thoughtful as he tries to pretend he's fine. The corners of Eddie's lips keep twitching into a smile, however, as he scrubs the remains of bacon and eggs of the fry pan. He doesn't recognise the tune.

_**You're singing.** _

'Yes.'

_**What're you singing?** _

Eddie pauses, sets down the pan, and goes to find a dish cloth. 'Dolly Parton.'

That has Venom pause. He slides that name along all the others he knows and draws a blank. All he can picture is red hair, though he knew Dolly's last name wasn't, nor had ever been, Parton. When he doesn't reply, Eddie dries his hands and goes about towelling off the rest of the dishes.

'Jolene. It's a song, buddy. I'll play it for you.'

 _ **Oh,**_ Venom finally says. _**I'd like it.**_

Later, Eddie pulls the track up on his computer and turns up the volume for him. Venom stretches out and lazes beside Eddie. He watches over his shoulder as Eddie taps the rhythm on the keyboard, humming along to the beat. Something deep inside Venom aches and he curls in tighter, a tendril wrapping around Eddie's wrist as he asks him to play it again. 

*

It was quiet. Venom liked the quiet. Maria didn't. She hadn't like the quiet for a long time. 

She was hot. She was boiling up. Cold air was billowing in from somewhere, but it wasn't doing anything to help it. Sweat pooled under her arms and the small of her back. The scientists monitored her and ran tests behind a safe pane of glass, but it didn't matter. Nothing would help.

_**You're sick.** _

'I know.'

_**I'm killing you.** _

'I know.'

_**I'm sorry.** _

Maria shut her eyes. Then, 'I know.'

He would die without her. Despite the bad match, despite the discomfort of her body, it was a temporary reprieve. And while she would return to Dolly (as, apparently, humans lived on in something called an afterlife), he would cease to exist. He would become a splatter, just as his fellow brethren had. 

The scientists left. 

Minutes. Hours. Half a day.

The billowing cold air from the air vents brought with it whispers. Noises. Dolly's voice and footsteps and a distinctive click. Venom retreated to the back of her mind. She'd been sick for far longer than Venom had been within her, but his presence wasn't helping. It had expedited the damage to her lungs, her heart, her kidneys. He tried to fix it, but her body was rejecting him, and he was rejecting her.

There was a phantom by the window. 

Venom jerked their head up. Maria wasn't so good at telling the difference anymore. She was dehydrated, starving, her body eating itself alongside Venom.

The phantom was real.

_Eddie._

_**Eddie?** _

'Eddie!'

_**Sit down, you're killing us.** _

His argument went unheard. The spike of energy sent their pulse racing. The adrenaline coursed through their system. Maria's knees were ready to buckle out from underneath her. Her hands slapped at the glass, her voice loud and blocking out Venom's pleas for her to stop.

Venom didn't take notice of Eddie. He struggled to pull Maria down, to get her to calm. It didn't matter.

Noise. Sharp. Piercing.

The phantom was killing them.

Venom screamed. 

Too much. Everywhere, all over. Maria was dizzy and Venom couldn't keep them together. He pulled at her skin, searching for somewhere to go. She was dying and she was in pain and he couldn't help her.

_**I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.** _

_Eddie._

_**Eddie?** _

Eddie. 

Not killing. _Helping_. Venom didn't know where to go but out. She was hot, and then it wasn't. Her body was collapsing around him. Venom hauled her heavy arms up and out, trying to find her voice. There was no air, nothing to help get the sounds out. Begging and desperate, he fought against the noise, the sirens, the blinding sounds. Too much noise. The _wrong_ noise. Not Dolly's sweet voice, not Maria's raspy laugh. Wrong sounds, _bad_ sounds.

Eddie uttered Maria's name. Again and again. Venom knows the inflection of it, the feel of it. The vibration in his throat was soothing, the growl of the letters. His hand closed around it, trying to get the vibrations out, to form the name that had once belonged to the woman who housed him. Venom wanted it, he begged for it, but nothing came. 

Behind the flashing lights, behind the blaring sirens, Venom saw kindness. Warmth. Laughter and joy and delight. He can see Dolly, the way Maria saw her. 

His name is Eddie.

He finally understands.

He jumps.


End file.
